Thanks to all who commented on my deleted blog -I just couldn't keep it up. It felt too raw, somehow, and even though the words weren't my own, they were speaking my mind so clearly that I felt too exposed.
Things are...okay. By okay, I mean I am waking up in the morning and getting through the days and the nights, and am trying not to let the feelings take over that whisper in my ear that my life lacks meaning. I reach out to those who love me, and remember that yes, I am loved; valued.
While there are small bright spots of sunshine --my mom's visit that turned out better than expected being one of those, and a trip I'm taking this weekend to a friends family lakehouse this weekend for the fourth of July -- the darkness has taken residence upon my heart and just comes along for the ride at this point.
This sound of silence is deafening, and keeping me from sleep.
But here --is a smile for you, from my couch on a Tuesday night, for those who read. Thank you for doing that.
"In restless dreams I walk alone....narrow streets of cobblestone."