Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Thanks to all who commented on my deleted blog -I just couldn't keep it up.  It felt too raw, somehow, and even though the words weren't my own, they were speaking my mind so clearly that I felt too exposed.

Things are...okay.  By okay, I mean I am waking up in the morning and getting through the days and the nights, and am trying not to let the feelings take over that whisper in my ear that my life lacks meaning.  I reach out to those who love me, and remember that yes, I am loved; valued. 

While there are small bright spots of sunshine --my mom's visit that turned out better than expected being one of those, and a trip I'm taking this weekend to a friends family lakehouse this weekend for the fourth of July -- the darkness has taken residence upon my heart and just comes along for the ride at this point.

This sound of silence is deafening, and keeping me from sleep.

But here --is a smile for you, from my couch on a Tuesday night, for those who read.  Thank you for doing that.

"In restless dreams I walk alone....narrow streets of cobblestone."


Ms. Moon said...

Oh, you darling girl. Keep remembering that just because you feel one way now, doesn't mean you will feel that way forever. Or even too much longer. As Ms. Bastard-Beloved would say, "You are loved."

TheAbsolutPINK said...

i hope you enjoy your weekend with friends for the 4th. You definitely are loved and valued. I missed your post that is now deleted, but always know that i'm here. Even if i don't manage to catch your blog hot off the press.

Thinking of you! So glad we got to hang out IRL hehe so recently!

Allegra Smith said...

Hello sweetpea, got your email and I am going to answer it at length when my double vision gives me a break.
I have been thinking about you a lot lately (osmosis?) and we are both looking forward to your coming back to visit. And we both love you, truly. Meeting you was like seeing an old friend and you will always be welcome here, with open arms. Any time, and I hope you know this comes from the heart. Hugs from here.

Bethany said...

What a sweet smile.
I know that darkness that sits there. I like your attitude about it. But I'm sorry you're feeling it lurking. I missed the post too. I'm so behind. Take care SJ. Keep smiling just like that.