Friday, December 11, 2009

Not feeling so brave...

Right now. Am feeling a little homesick...and a lot overwhelmed. I forgot how hard everything is here--from the parking to the driving to the smallest trip to the drugstore, everything takes more steps, more money and more frustration.

I'm tired. I'm just plain tired from the insomnia that has ravaged me for weeks now, and I didnt sleep for shit last night. I'm staying with a friend that - god bless - gave me her spare room. With a spare bed, located right under drafty windows :) So I was freezing, homesick, and wondering what in the hell I was doing this for.

Things were better this morning. And now my friend is gone for the weekend, leaving me alone in the house which oddly makes things a little bit better so I can get some downtime. I have my blanket and pillow from home, my pajama's on (at 5pm) and I fixed myself a drink. I'll watch a movie, and try to SLEEP tonight.

Tomorrow I go look at apartments...wish me luck!

It will be ok. Right?


Bethany said...

This is why you ARE brave, dealing with all these uncomfortable, homesick feelings.
You are already feeling better.
Stay strong, hang on to your blankie and wine and hang in there.
Good luck tomorrow.
Really, you ARE brave and wonderful.

Ms. Moon said...

What Bethany said. And it's going to get better and it will all make sense. I DO wish you luck. And we're here, waiting to know what happens. Love...Ms. Moon

SJ said...

Thanks to you both--I needed to hear your words.

Kaolinmommy said...

I always tell my Hannah, being brave isn't about NOT being afraid. It's about being afraid and moving through it- embracing the adventure. You're pretty much one of the bravest people I know.

Love & prayers for you. Keep us posted.

TheAbsolutPINK said...

You will get through this. I think you are just longing to be settled immediately - and you being a person of routine, it's hard to be out of synch with life. But moving is all about change, and you will find your new tempo, a good pace, and all the things that will make this new chapter seem more like home.