Tuesday, August 31, 2010

And Everything After.

A few minutes after midnight on the first day of August....a new man entered.

A few minutes after midnight on the last day of August...this man exited.

Time marches on, and marches to a drumbeat that sometimes I have trouble finding the rythym to keep pace with the beat.  Life catches me off gaurd, stumbles me to the ground, and I find that I am reaching out to those who mean the most to me and everyone else fades into the background.

He was the best grandfather I could have asked for.  Once, when I was about 8, my cousin and I were cornered up against a tree by a rattlesnake.  A few more seconds before that gunshot --well, I dont want to think about what would have happened.  And there was our hero, tromping through the woods and grabbing us by the arms and hollering like we'd never seen him before.  Never, never, do that again he screamed, and I cried, and Eric did too and we never told our mothers.  I doubt they know to this day.

For some reason, when I heard the news today, I thought of that snake poised to strike.  I thought about it over and over again, and of how he yelled for the hogs and the chickens to clamor around for food.  "Su-eyyyy" he would cry to the hogs carrying a silver pail across a field that even then, I knew was beautiful.

Of mine and Eric's little voices: "Su-eyyyyyy...." echoing behind his cry as we marched behind in his muddy footprints.

How fast time can strike us into realizing once again, family is everything. 

And I sit here, six hundred miles away.


Bethany said...

what a beautiful post. so sorry about your grandfather. gosh, you have the best family. thanks for sharing your stories.
hugs from here.

SJ said...

Thank YOU Miss Bethany, for reading. My family is huge, chaotic, and half of us aren't even related to one another...but, somehow we make it work. It really is a damn miracle, as Ms Moon would say. Hugs back to you.

adrienne said...

what a beautifu memory, and a blessing to have such a hero in your life.

we never feel ready to lose the pillars of our lives, though i am beginning to believe they go just when it is time for us to stand on our own.


Ms. Moon said...

Are you going to the funeral?
Oh honey. I am so sorry. What a beautiful tribute, though. Grandparents ARE important, aren't they? He must have loved you SO much. I KNOW he did.

May said...

I'm feeling you.

Allegra Smith said...

I am so sorry to hear about this. I am venturing out a few blogs at a time and yours and Bethany are on that first list.

Take care of yourself. I miss hearing from you and know that if I am silent it is because I have not many choices and I divide myself among my friends hoping no one would feel abandoned by me. Much love and I wish I could send you a hug to hold you while you are going through this sad time.

SJ said...

I thank you all. Love you so much.