Sunday sadness is pretty common for me. My friend and I both suffer from what we call "Sunday Depression" in which we already miss the weekend, and already are tired of working and it's not quite yet Monday.
Sundays are even harder when you sleep all night next to the one you love, and wake to lock the door behind them at 7am. When you go back to bed and lay on their pillow, and spend the rest of the day on your own.
Luckily my sister came to rescue me and make me go to the grocery store, where I saw practically everyone I know. They all asked "Are you excited about DC? Where are you going to live?" My answers? 'YES!' 'With friends!'
My real answers? "Sort of!" "On a couch...somewhere!"
Truth is, my life is getting ready to enter a real period of uncertainty. My job ends on Wednesday, and it will finally end a three-week "long goodbye" and put us all out of our misery I think. I am distracting my co-workers--they keep popping in my cube with long faces and "This is the last time we'll go get a sandwich" statements. I am distracting my boss, who is being incredibly kind throughout this entire ordeal.
By sitting in that same cubicle day in, day out--I am distracting myself from facing the reality of what's about to happen.
Thank god I have a few friends still in DC that I can stay with. I haven't been in their daily lives for over 4 years now, and I'm a bit nervous about all that I'm about to ask of them. They have been so gracious and hospitable and we'll all get through it just fine. Living with them may be the best thing for me, honestly, since I'm going to have some lonely feelings at the first.
I find myself OD'ing on the people I love. Wanting to see them all the time, and especially spending (too much) time with the one I love--the one I'm trying to leave behind. And I'm glad to leave it behind, but today it's so damn hard.
I am missing people, when they're right in front of me.
And as I pack their pictures in a box.