Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Sunday Sadness

Sunday sadness is pretty common for me. My friend and I both suffer from what we call "Sunday Depression" in which we already miss the weekend, and already are tired of working and it's not quite yet Monday.

Sundays are even harder when you sleep all night next to the one you love, and wake to lock the door behind them at 7am. When you go back to bed and lay on their pillow, and spend the rest of the day on your own.

Luckily my sister came to rescue me and make me go to the grocery store, where I saw practically everyone I know. They all asked "Are you excited about DC? Where are you going to live?" My answers? 'YES!' 'With friends!'

My real answers? "Sort of!" "On a couch...somewhere!"

Truth is, my life is getting ready to enter a real period of uncertainty. My job ends on Wednesday, and it will finally end a three-week "long goodbye" and put us all out of our misery I think. I am distracting my co-workers--they keep popping in my cube with long faces and "This is the last time we'll go get a sandwich" statements. I am distracting my boss, who is being incredibly kind throughout this entire ordeal.

By sitting in that same cubicle day in, day out--I am distracting myself from facing the reality of what's about to happen.

Thank god I have a few friends still in DC that I can stay with. I haven't been in their daily lives for over 4 years now, and I'm a bit nervous about all that I'm about to ask of them. They have been so gracious and hospitable and we'll all get through it just fine. Living with them may be the best thing for me, honestly, since I'm going to have some lonely feelings at the first.

I find myself OD'ing on the people I love. Wanting to see them all the time, and especially spending (too much) time with the one I love--the one I'm trying to leave behind. And I'm glad to leave it behind, but today it's so damn hard.

I am missing people, when they're right in front of me.

And as I pack their pictures in a box.


Bethany said...

Sunday sadness. I know just what you mean. Loved the way you decribed it though, ..."already tired of working ad it's not quite Monday." Yes!
You are brave to do this and feel this huge swirl of emotions. Sounds like lots of people will be missing you too.
Good luck through it all.
You're an inspiration.

Ms. Moon said...

I have suffered from the Sunday sadness for many years and so I know. Yours is compounded by this move, this uncertainty. I can only say that things will flow as they should and try not to borrow trouble. Try to go into it blindly and with faith. Why not?
We're here for you. We're here.

SJ said...

Thanks to you both--having this as an outlet is invaluable to me, and I so appreciate your being there to come along for the ride.

TheAbsolutPINK said...

i hate when you write something in your blog and i don't know anything about it. i mean not the job thing, of course i know about that. how can you love someone and i not know? I know i know - it's your business. It's just hard how you don't like telling me about it. I love you anyway.