Wednesday, March 4, 2015


Winter 2010

"Do you want to go home?" I whispered into his fur as we looked out the window at the winter snow coming down.

I remember feeling a little lonely, and he was my solid thing. Something that I could hug, even if he was reluctant about that whole deal. It was a scene that would repeat a handful of times throughout January and February, as I looked out of my basement apartment window at the worst winter DC would have on record in decades.

I moved New Years Eve 2009, and brought my kitten long for the ride. It was a rough adjustment. I'd come back, after four years, to a city where I didn't have intentions of returning--not because I didn't love it, but because it's hard.

Living in Washington, D.C. is no cakewalk. Nor is any major city, I imagine, but DC seems to expend a special brand of hell on its residents in the form of non-voting rights, impossible traffic and almost no ability to have a car without hundreds of dollars in fees and fines, and the reality of thousands of people living in a ten mile wide city that can't govern itself without Congress looking over its shoulder.

And god, I love it.

My second five years there were not without difficulty. That could be the biggest understatement I've uttered since 2015 began. But, it was mine. It became home because I kicked a home out of the rotting wood and packed ice, and started to root.

But, it was time for our life to change. The roots were not enough. I packed him up again, and off we went.

Winter 2015

Here we are. A bigger home, a new job, a new life. Close to home, but not home. The worst winter on the books in decades, just as the winter I made my last transition was. I begin kicking out a home in the rotting wood and the packed ice.

We are here.

Tonight, after they surveyed the falling snow, I picked Charlie up and walked around closing blinds. We stopped in front of the patio door and looked out. I was just a little bit lonely.
I hugged him close and we watched the snow fall. I whispered into his fur. "Do you want to go home?"


liv said...

Ohhhh, that is so sweet. He kind of looks like my kitty.

We are sitting here in what seems like a freaky warm winter, it makes me nervous. So I am soooo sorry to hear that you are still dealing with cold and snow.

Does this mean that you are thinking of going back to DC? I was thinking awhile ago that it seemed weird that you wouldn't be there now for all the Hilary stuff that is going to be coming up.

But I sure hope that you find the just right place that makes you feel at HOME. You are a nester whether you know it or not. Maybe behind the scenes of a high powered exec (or whatever your titled) but a sweet nester none the less.

Be warm, friend xoxo

liv said...

And PS: So, so nice to hear from you. Please don't abandon this.

Ms. Moon said...

In spring you will feel those roots growing again. I promise.
This is a hard time of year wherever you are.
And this was a beautiful post.

Maggie May said...

This was so lovely to read. You have such a beautiful spirit. Winter is on its way out, soon Spring!