Saturday, February 14, 2009

That guy up there was my hot date this Valentine's Day. My nephew Luka, now 20 months and growing into quite the active little boy, spent last night with me so his parents could go out on a much needed date and have some time to themselves to celebrate something they don't do nearly enough--their life together.

I watched Luka last year too for Valentines Day. He was only a baby then, and was cutting teeth on my papasan chair :) He cut through the "seams" that wrapped around the base, and I could have cared less. I still don't. They are frayed and it reminds me of him and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I have never, ever been one to care about "things" like that. I hope I don't ever start.

They were incredibly appreciative when they came to pick him up, still sleepy in his pj's. We laughed about how he was my date again this brother in law said something like, "I have a feeling next year will be different." I'm sure he meant that as a compliment, a way to make me feel better about being by "myself" this year.

And I don't know. Maybe it will and maybe it won't. Maybe I'll be off having a Valentine's date of my own, or maybe I'll have Luka on my couch watching a movie with me, or maybe I'll be in another city doing something else entirely.

Every day, I feel the winds of change around me...rustling the leaves and whispering in my ear that something better may be just around the corner. What that might be, I have no idea right now. I find myself, at random times of the day, whispering prayers under my breath for me to see some kind of sign of what I'm supposed to do.

Start new and let go of old ties that keep me bound to a certain place, a certain peice of myself, a certain role that I keep playing in my relationships. Or re-define those ties and allow them to give way to something different, maybe ten times better than I could have ever have imagined.

I don't know.

But I will. It's getting closer every day--and until then, I have sweet reminders that I have it pretty good. Sweet reminders that good things come to those who wait...


Ms. Moon said...

Nice to hear your voice again! I think your Valentine's date was probably one of the most enjoyable anyone could have.
Keep us posted on changes...

SJ said...

I will! I just hope they get figured out :)

sue said...
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