For some reason this week, I’ve been having more “one year
ago today, I was doing XYZ” moments. I think I’m trying to impress upon
myself the significance of where I am in my life right now, because I’ve had no
real time to absorb how many changes have taken place.
One year ago today, I would be five days away from talking
to my soulmate for the first time. Not my only, first or possibly even
last soulmate (I believe we have dozens, if we’re lucky, of all forms).
But my heart would grow several sizes, very soon, one year ago today and I had
no idea. It happens when you least expect it, right? No longer
expecting anything was an understatement for me, I was honestly thinking that
love would never find me. A cliché statement, but a true one. I
still have a hard time believing that a man loves me. I am someone’s best
person in the world. I have never known this feeling before, and yet I’ve
slipped into it like sliding into a warm bath – effortlessly and easily, and
with a peace of mind that truly surprises me.
I’ve learned so much. I didn’t know how to be with a
man so comfortably. I have always been a bit intimidated of men, and a
little unsure of what to say. I didn’t know I had the ability to have a
man as my best friend, lover, heart connection, best thought.
I also thought I knew about how to live and love with
someone’s faults. But I really didn’t. I also am still a bit amazed
that someone can love MY faults and weird flaws so much. And here’s
something I also find amusing – I’m still me. I didn’t have to become a
different person or version of myself, my job still sucks and my family is
still crazy, and I’ve gained a few pounds and he still looks at me like he just
took a drink of water on a hot day.
We are moving in together, to that house up there, with the actual white picket fence ;)
He'll be moving in in a couple of weeks. I move in September 1. We are combining households, having talks about whose coffee table should go where, which room should his son have, where should the litter box be? We have a new rug, a new couch. We’re deliciously excited to finally be together every single day without it requiring logistics of driving from one’s home to another. We’re together more than we’re apart anyway, although I know this is going to give us a new layer of learning about each other. The only thing I’m a bit worried about is my occasional need for alone time. I don’t have a ton of need for down time with him because being with him is like being with myself. His skin feels like my skin; we begin and end with each other most days. It’s taken a lot of work, but not at all, at the same time.
He'll be moving in in a couple of weeks. I move in September 1. We are combining households, having talks about whose coffee table should go where, which room should his son have, where should the litter box be? We have a new rug, a new couch. We’re deliciously excited to finally be together every single day without it requiring logistics of driving from one’s home to another. We’re together more than we’re apart anyway, although I know this is going to give us a new layer of learning about each other. The only thing I’m a bit worried about is my occasional need for alone time. I don’t have a ton of need for down time with him because being with him is like being with myself. His skin feels like my skin; we begin and end with each other most days. It’s taken a lot of work, but not at all, at the same time.
We’ll be in our home just before our one-year anniversary.
I swear to you…I didn’t see any of this happening in my wildest,
weirdest, wonderful dreams.
Off we go, honeybunny. You’re the best part of all my
days.
