I took a bubble bath tonight. This may seem awfully basic, but for me, it represented something HUGE. I took one almost every night before the cast (my own version of b.c.) and tonight, I lowered myself in, keeping weight off my right foot, and sat. I had my first glass of wine in...3 months? Or something like that. Just for the hell of it. I'm ba-ack in a lot of ways. I still can't walk all the way, but I can stand. I can take little bitty steps on my walking boot.
Mom left this morning. She walked out, keeping her distance from me, after 22 days here (by her count). She was trying not to cry. I was in the middle of my "work" day from the couch, so I had to be quick in my goodbyes, and I think she wanted to get out before she had an emotional time of it. I know she feels fine about leaving me in this condition--I am much, much, much better than how she found me! But still. I'm her baaaby. She reminded me of this many times :)
I'm alone. It's quiet. Getting my life back is bittersweet. I'm looking around my apartment, at these walls, as though I don't recognize the place. The place in which I've been stuck for the last two months. I am seeing ME again...finally. Me, on my own.
Look blog...no hands.
4 comments:
Oh, that's soooo encouraging! Getting back to being yourself. Such a good feeling, independence. A bubble bath and a glass of wine and a blog in the middle of the week, yea!!!
Well, at least if it proves to be too much, you've got your friend coming this weekend, something to look forward to. Just don't overdo it... the first thing I did when I got my boot was trip over my crutches! lol! I was so excited. Take it slow, think before you step and congrats on returning to the world of grownups :)
A bubble bath and a glass of wine sounds wonderful. I'm glad you're standing on your own, taking baby steps. Keep healing, and try to be patient, that must be the hardest part. (I've never broken a bone, so I can't imagine what you're going through.)
I'm glad you've getting back to being you, and getting unstuck. Take as good care of yourself as your parents did, OK?
Look blog no hands made Elton's song Look Ma No Hands pop into my head. Look Ma, ain't life grand? It's a happy song if you want to check it out on youtube, a little bittersweet too, just like life.
Hugs.
Perfect! And yes, your mother was trying to get out of there before she could break down. Probably. When Jessie left yesterday to go back to HER real life, I began to cry and then I sort of grabbed Owen and ran back into the house and kept saying, "Oh Owen, oh Owen," and I couldn't break down because HE was there and oh shit. It's so hard to let your babies go, no matter how old they are, how well they live their real lives.
You are so lucky, in so many ways, to have had your mother there, caring for you.
Hope you recover super quick!
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