tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7994205462075967000.post322039490216047604..comments2023-03-25T05:41:32.948-04:00Comments on It's raining in Baltimore, baby...but everything else is the same: The SeparationSJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14174193133138897712noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7994205462075967000.post-11238533109549853052014-02-03T19:59:57.559-05:002014-02-03T19:59:57.559-05:00Thanks to all of you, you three wise women. I'...Thanks to all of you, you three wise women. I'm glad to have all 3 of you commenting and hanging in with me all these years.<br /><br />I am so so lucky that I make friends quickly and easily, and have so many. I've had several ebb and flow out of my life through natural circumstances--although Facebook makes this harder and easier at the same time. But a few are soulmates, and this parting is a soulmate leaving. It is hard, but necessary I think. For now, anyway. You know I'll be writing about it along the way. SJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14174193133138897712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7994205462075967000.post-17760823081665190402014-02-01T23:10:50.374-05:002014-02-01T23:10:50.374-05:00Those two women above, Mary and Mel, are incredibl...Those two women above, Mary and Mel, are incredibly wise. What lovely comments they made. <br /><br />Friendships elude me sometimes. They are confusing and yet beautiful. I love the diagram of the waltz, as that's how I think of them sometimes too. Up - down - back, up - down - back. I've had some wonderful ones and some terrible ones, but I've never had one where I didn't actually love the other person. It sounds like you are like that too, a whole heart giver. That means, big rewards and big hurts. And really, that's the best way to do it. The only way I think. <br /><br />That "growing up" that you speak of, it's a lifetime process, you know. You will always be figuring it out, always questioning, wondering and striving to get it right. That's what makes you such a good friend - don't doubt that. I don't.livhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00091094639074377780noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7994205462075967000.post-60180254342654365982014-01-31T10:28:29.147-05:002014-01-31T10:28:29.147-05:00Ms. Moon is right. Relationships and friendships a...Ms. Moon is right. Relationships and friendships are so hard, especially when it's a friend dating a guy you can not stand. Your friend may need to believe he is a good guy and the relationship will work, regardless of evidence to the contrary. I've seen this dynamic before. It always ends badly for someone.<br />I know from experience how hard it is to keep old friendships alive across long distances and times, and how hard and lonely it is trying to build new friendships in new towns.<br />I've struggled with the ebb and flow of friendships based on circumstances (schools, clubs, neighborhoods) and sometimes I wonder if it's me that's unable to really connect, or if I'm too picky or if we're all too busy or, or, or...<br />I count my blessings that I have one true forever friend nearby, and one true forever friend far away, and my sister, also far away that I can call and cry or laugh with anytime. This place, Blogger, has given me as many if not more caring friends I've never met, who I can share my life with and not feel so alone.<br />The friends I've let slip away, or they me, I wonder sometimes how that could have happened, but it does. And it is hard, real hard to transitions from friends to couples and friends. It is a changing dynamic, and some friendships survive, some don't. <br />But if you do miss your friend, maybe you should reach out to her in a small way, facebook, text or email just to say you miss her.<br />Not to babble on, but my best friend's former boyfriend made a pass at me and I told her because up to that point I thought he was a nice guy, he denied it, and she was newly divorced and needed to be needed, so I just told her I love you and don't let him hurt you, and I would prefer to not see him anymore, and we just did girls nights after that until she found out with certainty that he was a creep. She's moved on to a much nicer guy, happyish ending.<br />My long winded point being maybe next time you're home you can reach out to her, if you want to, and do a just girls thing. And if this friendship can't survive, I wish you many more new ones to fill your big beautiful heart.<br />xoMelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10114884092474969555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7994205462075967000.post-65396044352999695922014-01-31T08:54:13.978-05:002014-01-31T08:54:13.978-05:00I have left behind many friends. Or been left behi...I have left behind many friends. Or been left behind. Relationships grow, change, become different. That is all there is to it. And things arise which cannot be patched over and made whole again. Just as when a beautiful bowl is broken and glued back together- from ten feet away it may look fine but if one gets closer, one sees the damage and the bowl can not be used as it was before. <br />And it's hard. And it's sad. I still sometimes dream of those to whom I was once so very close and a part of me wants to try and re-mend and re-glue and make it all like it was before but the honest truth is- not possible. <br />This is one of the hardest truths in life. But it does not negate what once was. And these people will always be a part of us, no matter what. And that fact can be cherished forever. <br />These words aren't going to help you, darling woman. I'm sorry. But I write them to let you know that I understand and that I also know it's part of the human experience. And your emotions are valid and real and there is grief involved and maybe, in the future, you CAN renew that bond but perhaps in a different, more grown-up way. <br />I love you. Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.com